Wednesday already!

Just finished reading e novel, “The Secret of Love”.At 1st I thot tt e book is damn thick la…then e beginning chapters also a bit sian…but slowly I began to realize tt e story is actually v interesting.3 girls and 2 boys are very gd frens in sch..it’s like they noe each other v well…they will haf quarrels but immediately after tt they’ll feel guilty abt wat they’ve said and apologise.I think it’s v nan de to haf a grp of really gd frens la…I do haf zhi ji but nvr one whole grp of gd frens.This reminds me of xiao xi’s sec sch gang…v xian mu them sia!Niwaez…I think I really fell in love wif e novel la…e things they said is so true and meaningful lo!Ok…prom is getting nearer and nearer.Of course…dun need to ask also noe I’m not happy wif this.How I wish it can be postponed…or better still canceled!Aiya..it’s just so mah fan la!

family outing

Yest was our family day…but it dint turn out to e tt memorable and xing fu like I thot it would be.During lunch my parents quarreled…I acted as e peacemaker.In the end we still went to watch e movie, “harry potter and the goblet of fire”.But guess wad?We went to e wrong cinema…until e show start then we noe we made a mistake.By e time we find e correct cinema…all e pple haf been seated.We gotta squeeze thru e pple to our seats.Heng e show haven’t start lo.Haiz…after all these…when we finally reach home…I was already so tired.Saw him online and I told him abt my parents quarrel.I really need to someone to tok to at tt pt of time…trying to hard to hold back my tears…but in the end I still burst out crying.I don’t noe y I always feel v safe telling him abt my family problems.He always act like a big kor kor hu noes and understands my feelings.He’ll analyse e situation peacefully wif me and console me.Surprising thing is tt I really feel v calm and warm after toking to him.Later xiao xi call me dat time I already not crying anymore.Of course e conversation abt prom wif xiao xi on e fone also diverted my thoughts away frm those sad things.Now then I noe how impt my frens are…my pillar support.So I told myself I’ll treasure each and every one of them.

Thx to e Novel

Had a chat with him yest nite…found out sth…or rather I guess la.His secretive character is probably due to his family background ba.I can’t deny tt I’m not somebody he trust or close enuff to tok abt personal stuff…but he naturally tend to keep things to himself.He said, “say so much for wat?u who I ask u?u who?”His words were like a blade.Stunned.I nvr replied…until after a long time…I finalli typed, “I be ur fren feel v disheartened”.He said, “I’m not e type to divulge too much abt myself”.Actually I really feel like dying at tt moment.This is not e 1st time le…his words are always so hurting.Last time we discussed abt meeting in hk…so b4 As I told him when I’m going to hk.He said sth like, “so?u think I can meet u over there meh?”I can say if e fone is close enuff to my heart,he can hear it shattering.No,I dint haf high hopes or wad but y muz he use such a way to reject me?After yest’s tok…I can confirm one thing.tt is he definitely and totally haf no feelings for me la.Maybe to him…I’m not even equivalent to his classmates.I went offline in a very bad state.The time was 1 plus.I laid on my bed…can’t sleep at all.I cried and I thought of many things.My brain went back to e story I was reading, “at heart”.Tou Zi’s situation is not like mine…but in certain ways,her feelings are similar to mine.Her decision was so brave…so much happened and yet her mind is still clear…she noe exactly hu she likes.She told Yu Zhi tt no matter hu he likes,she’ll still be by his side…supporting him.I noe it’s stupid but I came to this conclusion last nite.tt is to do e same…I wun bother him on hu he likes anymore…I’m just going be there to care and support him.When he needs someone to tok to,I can be his listening ear.When he’s sad,I’ll try my very best to cheer him up.Last time,I feel tt this way of thinking is dumb…like so chi kui.But now I seem to think differently…maybe as long as my concern can reach him…I’m satisfied.It was wif this thinking in mind tt allowed me to finalli sleep peacefully last nite.

Relac:)

A lvls finally over!!!Haha!Not exactly v excited…cos after phy paper 3 on wed I already started slacking…super relaxed…ran thru meteor garden like my usual style(skip e parts wif dao ming shi’s mom…dat disgusting zhong zhe too…:)Then I also planned my post exam activity…erm to be specific,onli planned for e weekend la…told xiao xi to loan me comics.She thot I would spend 2 yrs to finish tt 7 books…haha…sorry lo…it’s onli sat and I’m already on my last book le!Read super fast sia…guess e story is my kind…suits me well.Was v touched by several parts and a number of dialogue.Hah!Admire gao qiao’s bravery sia…dare to voice out her feelings…really wanna ask if she did think of e consequences b4 she blurt out those words.But on e other hand…I was also thinking…if dun risk,dun take e 1st step…nth will happen.Like wat zhu nei said, “ai qing yao zhang wo shi ji,bu ran hou hui ye tai chi le”Haiz…I also wan to let him noe my feelings.Rmb one of e dialogue saying, “dang ni ai shang dui fang shi,ni hui xi wang ta jiu shi ni zheng que de dui xiang”Yah…I think it’s v true…is this kinda ma mu?Even though he maybe not be ur mr right…but u’ll not be particularly zai yi abt his shortcomings and keep convincing urself tt he’s e one.Wat the…I’m one of those bai chi hu think this way too.Dunno y e comic say dan lian is gd.It’s not gd at all…it’s so painful…so exhausting.I hate it!Argh…really hope e next episode hurry up come out:P

NO WAY!

Just received a letter frm RC…asking me to attend e volunteer orientation.I was like “wad the…”.I vow to myself tt i’ll nvr touch RC activities again since last yr.Dint even wan to go for the link camp and EDC actually…if not bcos my squadmates say”aiya…just go for e last time,after tt just mia lo”…i wun even consider participating in it.I’m like obliged to go…not a single bit of willingness.Really hate RC…mostly cos of e pple ba.Last time in tk RC I’m onli exposed to pple frm my sch…but now in hq..everything is different.Hate those pple hu cannot handle so many things but die die grab everything to do…wanna show off…wanna prove their capability to others.Totally disgusted by em!For me,I’ll try my best to do wat I can but if it’s out of my ability I’ll seek help frm my frens…I mean no harm rite?There’s trust and mutual respect and understanding btw frens rite?I dun see why I can’t depend on em when I’ve problems.I dunno if those pple are doing it for the purpose of getting a promotion but I really can’t stand working wif em.There’s also lots of politics…dun wanna noe abt it and definitely dun wish to be involved in it.pple backstabbing each other…toking behind pple’s back…e feeling sucks la!I totally dun feel any sense of team work or coorperation in RC anymore.pple going into cliques…toking and laughing within their own small grps…leaving new-comers out..wat is this??!!!Moreover,e jobscope of hq work is v diff frm sec sch also…and I find tt I can’t cope wif it.Activities come in loads…if u volunteer then u wun be able to cope wif sch work…if u dun volunteer…it’ll seem like u’re a slacker…cos u’re IN it…u can’t escape.This is beginning to overwhelm me…my mama say since u’re still young,it’s ok tt u take part in more activities…but pls la…take part also muz take part in things tt u like rite?wat for u go for things tt u dun like and get so fed up and upset and stressed up in e process?If I agree to become a volunteer,they’ll assign me to a sec sch…I’ll need to go to tt sec sch every wk and help em settle admin work…help em wif testings blah blah…plus I myself also hafta constantly upgrade myself by going for various tests!!!Footdrill…evac…first aid…so on so on so on……….wha!tt’s super time consuming sia.Their tests also super stressful la!Short recap plus test on e same day eh…if my skills so shen…1 short recap will do then I dun even need to take ur test already rite?Sian diao!Still rmb last yr…was watching Jay’s concert wif xiao xi when some RC person called la!Can they find a better time?Rite after e concert gotta call him back…then tok abt logistic stuff…super anticlimax lo!I really vow to myself I’ll nvr nvr step into RC again!