CNY

Hah!It’s CNY!A new yr haf finally arrived…anxiously waiting to noe wat awaits us.Was toking to xiao xi on e fone last nite…and we suddenly realized how old we are rite now…19 this yr!Oh manz!Time really flies la….many things yet to be done…experienced onli so little in life…compared to many others, we’re kinda lagging lo!Going bai nian today…think I’m gonna hate it as usual…e fact is except e ang bao…nth is fun la!e aunties will start asking u whether u haf bf…and if I say no, they’ll say “How can it be?Haiyo…dun bluff la!”Dotz!As if I wan to bluff u abt such things lo!Seeing frens around me getting attached is totally depressing la…happy for em of course…but looking back at myself…all I can do is sigh.Say until like I v desperate…but I still think tt finding e rite person is v impt.No pt being together wif someone u dun haf much feelings wif…wasting time onli…and I bet u wun even feel sweet when he does sth nice la.My senior told me her story…I seriously think tt she shudn’t agree to date a person while hafing feelings for other guy la.Maybe I’m dun haf e rite to judge her relationship la…I myself also nvr try it b4…but tt’s wat I feel la.Like BoA’s song…”Love & Honesty”…we shud be honest wif our feelings mah!Yup…going to start work soon…jia you ba!

ANNOYING!

He's just getting too bossy and nosey la!Wat's his prob sia?Is this parents concern?I feel tt it's too much la!I noe we're a family but sometimes really cant hold back my anger lo!tt's y pple always say e closer u are e more u wont be aware of their feelings...cos u're too used to em being around u.Can he stop telling me to hurry submit anot?Dun he understand tt e form is v hard to fill up and i've already tried my best to speed up le lo.Every form also gotta write statements...statements for ur CCA...statements for hobbies...statements for ur talents...statements for ur career aspirations...statements for ur reasons of choosing tt uni...watsoever.Write until puke blood leh!He noe anot?I'm not doing nth leh.Can he dun say until i'm like a slacker anot?Once i do other things...like check email onli then he muz come and check wat i'm doing...then stare at me and say y u not doing ur application.Wha lao!Gif me a break la!Say wat hurry up submit le then plan for work...if not then go and read up and revise.Wat the...mom already say tt e auntie letting me in to work in e old folks home in feb le mah...then wat u wan?Now jan then barge in and say i muz start work now ar?And read up on wat?Last time exam tt time u nag me liddat i ok leh...now it's really not studying time mah...y so irritating?Pls lo...go and ask around see hu will be revising now la!Qi si wo le!

uni application sux!

So not motivated to work. My computer is so weird. Internet always shut down by itself after a few minutes. How can I fill up e application form liddat? And uni application is so unlike JAE last time la…everything is pathed properly for us…this one is like so many criteria…so many instructions…so many deadlines…so many documents…so many essays to come up with! Then e stupid hong kong uni…set so many date due for wad? Once I exceed then disable my account. Now gotta retype everything le…and e new application form got a few parts also diff frm last time tt one…so weird…now got 5 choices instead of 3…then gotta choose wad “at least one 2nd year programme”?? Wad is dat sia? Dunno is I press wrong option or wad? Haiyo…got so many qsns but dunno hu to ask…found e hotline but today Sunday they not working! Sian! I went to write down all my qsns on a piece of paper…can fill 2 pages la! So many deadlines…all e uni wan e documents by this time that time…u wan so many thing already so troublesome…still wan e principal to certify true copy…then wat? I gotta run to mj and tk to get e principals to help me sign ar? Wha lao! Then scanning leh? I dun even noe e scanner work anot eh! So many problems!! My parents dun even understand me la…all I can do is scream my lungs out to fa xie when I’m alone at home.

Lovely memories

Actually wanted to write everything in e previous update de...but found tt e sad stuff are already flooding.Moreover those parts really too dreadful le...hard to add on e happy stuff.Happy moments...guess it all revolves around Gg ba.1st time i met him is during e trip to china.He wore contacts...look kinda different..so couldnt recognise him at e moment he walked over.That morning we got a lot of luggage...i was carrying 1 down e stairs when he came over and offered his help.I was like laughing at him...carrying so many luggage le still wan to help pple...but he insisted.My aunt say he's being gentleman so just let him be e superman.The funny thing is dat he carry so many things also dun look clumsy at all...maybe he tall ba...so everything looks more even.On e bus, we dint sit together.I sat wif grandma and he sat wif my bro behind us.He said he can take care of him...so ok lo.Was listening to mp3 on e way...then my aunt asked wat kind of wierd song was tt.B4 i could answer, he answered for me.So i ask him how come he noe...he said"rmb last time i asked u wat kinda music u like?so i went to look em up lo."Haha...pleasant surprise sia.Later my bro vomitted...haiya...u noe he always get sea sick de mah.Quickly turn back to see if he could handle...but he still had his usual smile on...helping my bro clean up and stuff...e way he treated my bro...ahhh...so wen rou and kind and loving...haha...onli got 3 words in mind,"hao nan ren"!Yup...we reached e house in e afternoon...after lunch i went out wif him to find bicycles.Haiya...but china is super sian la...where got holiday inn dun provide bicycles one?Then we just walk around e place and look at e scenery.Found a few bicycles by e road...and guess wad?They're not locked!We "stole" em and went for a ride.Haha...had so much fun until we're caught.The security guard say those are for em to xun luo...we cannot "play around wif em".Haha...oops!Then we laugh and laugh and ran back to our house.Later all of us went to e resort to play pool and haf dinner.When it's time to go back to our house...we noe we're in trouble.Cos we're not familiar wif e route back and e whole place is SUPER DARK la!I mean it lo!Well...tt Gg act cool la...say he'll lead us back.All of us dun trust him lo...but in e end we still followed.Muz haf rained earlier so e floor is wet and slippery.He kept holding e torch for me and told me to be careful of e gap btw e tiles.Haha..he really damn pro la...got us safely back...then he checked e surroundings and locked e doors and windows.See him so i pro i cant hold myself and asked him how come he noe all these.Yuan lai he came here b4...no wonder la!Oh yah,saw his shoes when we got into e house...old and tattered...looks just like leo's old shoes.We bathed and gathered in e cozy living room to play cards and board game.He kept telling jokes...haha not lame ones ok?Better than xiao xi's jokes!Oh yah...he let me see e part on e papers abt harry potter.He say"noe u like harry potter la...e papers say he's gonna die in e 7th book"Wha then i scream and he laughed at me...haha...so fun!The next day i woke up and found so many pimples on my face!So i took quite a lot of time to conceal em in e toilet...heard silence outside...got so scared...thought tt they muz haf waited too long and decided to go off without me...ran down e stairs and really found no one...BUT HIM!He was sleeping on e sofa...went over and tapped him...haha!His sleeping face so cute la...then he rubbed his eyes and said"eh?finally woke up ah?they went off to e restaurant le...i told em i'll stay and wait for u"Was kinda stunned la...but muz hide my feelings...so i quickly said"orh ok...let's go ba"We strolled to e restaurant together...had a nice chat.This time he wore his specs...haha..look just like my beloved harry potter!After lunch,we decided to go to e amusement park.Err...e place turned out to be super run down...e rides were so old tt they got tis "eek" sound when they move on e trail.Actually i wanted to play la...but he say too dangerous le...so i was kinda sad.He brought me to e bicycle rental and said"yest havent play enuff rite?wanna continue?"Haha!Dunno y...but i just cant stop smiling whenever he come up wif such ideas.Then comes sth funny...e shop actually dun haf single bicycles...it's either 2 person or 4 person.At last we rented one of each.So we just keep switching places among e 2 bicycles.Had a chance to ride wif him too!Feel so xing fu!It's like he always got a lot to say on e bicycle la...gif directions and all...then when it comes to "U-turning"...he'll shout intructions"left wheel...move back a little..."and he'll put his leg down to help stabilise...haha...kinda clumsy but really fun!Oh yah...we played "peng peng che" too...e game whereby u keep driving around to knock other pple's car.Grandma told him to go wif my bro...so i went wif my papa.Got 1 time so funny...cos my bro hit our car too hard,make me keep coughing...then he told my bro to to stop knocking us...then my bro say"dun knock then play wat?"Haha!So it's getting late le...decided to walk to e restaurant for dinner.Grandma actually told us to turn right de...but he insisted tt left side is e shorter route.Ok lo...hu noes we walk and walk and walk...e road nvr ending one la.Lei si ren...so i just complain a little...then he ask me if i wan him to piggyback me.Err..come on lo...tt is so paiseh la...hu will say yes?Then my bro say he wan...so he carried him lo.Haiz...hope he din see my face turn red manz!At last,we reached this western food restaurant.Cos it's so cold(dun need e aircon)so we decided to take e tables outside...beside e lake.It was a really sumptious meal...maybe cos of e cold weather...so e food seem to be hot and delicious.Back in our house...everyone was so tired tt they went off to bed rite after bathing.But cos i saw tis movie going to start on HBO so i stayed in e living room.My aunt left v soon after e show started...thought he would leave too...but he stayed.So we just sat side by side on e sofa and watched for abt 2 hrs.Feel really warm and delighted:)The next day is e day we leave.We took e bus and headed towards hk.On e way got traffic jam...e driver asked all e passengers to walk to e station ourselves.Then we saw tis old lady hafing difficulty in carrying her luggage...he quickly ran over to help...again"hao nan ren"!Was so touched.Hmm..think tt's all for e china trip.During e later part of our stay in hk..hmm...nth much ba...cos seldom see him.He told me tt he'll be permanantly staying in hk le...will be starting his business there.Rite now he's creating his own animation...which means he's gonna draw pictures for e story he got in mind and send it up for competition.It's a really tough job...like those disney cartoons...in order to make e characters move...he gotta draw a lot a lot of pictures..every little detail.He say tt he like e feeling of seeing sth being created frm scratch.He told me tt his parents once disagreed to his plan...but he insisted cos this is his dream.Is there a saying tt goes"a man wif a dream is chraming"?I seriously admire his determination,which also led me to think abt my own ambition.I shudnt be so afraid of the future...maybe at this pt in time i shud just go pursue my dreams.His job is gonna stretch for 2 to 3 yrs.He told me tt although e job can be done at home and is kinda flexible but he hope tt he can haf a serious working attitude and confine himself to working hrs everyday.So most of e time we meet during dinners.He got long arms so he always like to be e one to add tea for everyone round e table.Especially me la...haha...not cos of anything...just cos i drink tea v fast.One time during dinner,think my mom told him or sth...he asked if i wanna go to ocean park.I told him tt actually i'm onli interested in e rides.Then he started pondering...and said"i got asthma background so nvr try those things b4...but i can try la".Haha...he dun remind me i also forgot le...haiya...e more i dun wan him to go la...so worrying.So i just say tt we wun be able to find e time to go so most prob cancel de.He gave us tickets to e church gathering on 24 dec.Haiz...hu noes i'll be sick on dat day?Sian la...but he called to ask if i'm ok.Got this family gathering on 26th.I felt so bad when i see him la...dun attend his church gathering.But he still offered to go shopping wif me when he heard my aunt say i got a lot of things to buy.After tt day,dint see him anymore le...later than i found out tt he got hospitalised cos of stomach infection.He told me tt he vomitted many times...sobz...really worried sia.Dint even visit him b4 i leave.I'm so cha jing!But to think back on all tt haf happned...guess it's e sweetest days i've ever experienced!

Horrible memories

So i'm finally back in spore.My msn nick reads,"waiting for e final finally" bcos i was really hafing a hard time during e earlier days in hk.Feeling v pissed off and sick.I keep thinking am i really tt ugly and not sociable?Sometimes i'm being too sensitive but this time u really cant blame me lo.My relatives like to pick on pple's pain and tok abt it in e open one lo.My aunt especially...just cant stop saying tt i must go zhen rong.Then always hafing dinner tt time...then they'll say"must be in ur teens,tt's y grow so much pimples"Argh!Thanks for reminding everyone abt it all e time!Then comes my mom...gotta tell everyone she sees tt i need to put on make up to block my pimples during foto taking for my hk ic.Thought tt my papa is e neutral party...but NO!He just bought this new digital camera...was trying out wif my uncle...and he actually took my picture to try out e zoom function...then he tell my uncle,"see!can even see her pimples clearly!"Wha!wat the hell!Really feel like destroying his camera immediately!Really hate it lo!Dun feel like going out...not even to shop.I was thinking...if i could just haf some time to stay home and let e pimples go...i'll be a happier person and able to face pple wif more confidence.But of course no rite?In hk no one can haf free time or peaceful moments.Everyday is packed wif activities...gotta go out everyday....gotta meet pple everyday.Yah...others may think tt this kinda life is cool and challenging...but after u've been thru it...i guess u'll think otherwise.It is so busy tt u dun seem to be able to breath...gotta put on a smile where ever u go...gotta think of things to tok abt wif pple u are not familiar wif even when u're already damn tired(otherwise u'll be seen as not sociable).I can onli be my true self when i reach grandma's home at nite...and i mean super late at nite.I thought i could haf a gd bath and watch my fav dvds and haf some slp.But i was forced to apply for hk uni...yah la...cant blame em...it's for my own gd mah...but can u imagine how i feel not?The whole day i've been doing things out of my will le...at nite i cant even haf my own space?One nite...my mom came to nag while i was doing e online application...really pissed off...but i didnt shout ok?I said"can u dun come and fan wo?"Then dunno wad's her prob...went out and cry and shout and do all sorts of silly things.I thought nth will happen in hk cos tt's not our home...my mom usually wun fa xie there one...but this time out of my expectation she actually exploded at grandma's place.Created such a big fuss...whole house filled wif screaming and crying...later even my aunt came down to help wif consoling.I stayed in e room all e while...i dowan to console her...in fact i was angry wif her.I mean pls la...everyone haf their problems rite?We're not kids le...shud be matured enuff to noe wad is e correct time to do wad rite?I also got sad things wad...then i also cry and scream and shout in front of pple meh?And to say tt i'm being rude to her is definitely rubbish la!Wad did i say?I was already being extrememly polite eh..considering i got so many documents to read...really v fan nao at tt pt lo.I go back hk most of e time doing things tt i dowan to do(except e part wif Gg la)...even at nite also dun let me off...did i ever protest anot?I fall sick,take medicine le..need to rest also dun let me go home...muz die die go for dinner and socialise...i also went along le...so wad more do u wan frm me?Got 1 time it was raining...i drenched thruout le...my uncle say wanna bring my bro to go out buy toys...tt's non of my business rite?liddat they still wan to drag me along...i go home complain to my grandma onli...she scold me say i childish...say i dunno e importance of "ren ji guan xi".Come on la...i wasnt wrong to not know wad is ren ji guan xi,i was wrong to haf let u do all e decision for me...i shud haf been firmer and surer of things tt i dun wish to do.That nite, everyone was consoling my mom outside...i was crying alone in e room...i forced myself to be as silent as possible...i dun wan anyone to noe...i dint cry for e sake to wanting pple to pity me.i told myself,"i muz be strong,muz pick myself up and move on"...cos i gotta face much more probs and much more pple in e days to come.Now..thinking back...i think i've really survived a huge thunderstorm.My relatives keep saying tt an 18 yr old shud be able to do this do that.But haf they forgotten 1 thing...i dun live in hk...in fact i've migrated to spore for more than 12 yrs...how do u expect me to noe which transport can take to me to where and where can i get this get that..etc etc.Then they would compare me wif my same age cousin...say he come back already can find a part time job...can go where where wif frens.Hey!He haf been living here for all his life...he onli went to over to Australia to study for 1 yr and u're trying to compare me wif him?Of course i dun haf frens in hk...u mean u wan me to keep in contact wif my kindergarten frens all these yrs?Then wad?Come back and call em to meet up?I think i would haf been a complete phsyco if i've done tt.Then when they noe tt i cant do this or that...they start being overprotective to me.My aunt for example...insist that she'll haf to hold my hand...so that i wun go missing on e streets.Then when i go out wif my cousin,they'll tell him"rmb to take care of ur cousin,dun let her go missing"Excuse me?Can u tell me wad's ur prob?I wun die even if i lost him...i can take a cab or anything ok?I really...completely dunno how to get along wif hk pple leh.I dint noe in 12 yrs time...our frquency haf already differed so much.I miss my frens so much...and i miss e life in spore.Hope tt spore uni will accept me then i wun need to study there.