Sins

I dunno wat's wrong wif myself...i'm feeling v complicated now.No matter how tough jc was...it feels so pure and fun being wif frens...even liking someone feels so much more innocent.It's so different now...i feel so not myself.I guess i kinda lost my true soul while adapting to uni life.Suddenly i gotta be independent...gotta be strong and able on my own...makes me feel so lonely.Esp when i see pple around me getting attached...for a moment i felt like having someone to fill up the space too.Yah...it's so silly to think tt way...but i admit i'm not a saint.I need love and care too...esp in an environment as cold as uni.So when tis guy came along...showing me e concern tt i've nvr experienced b4...i was moved.When we grew so close,i got to noe tt he's attached.For a period of time,i chose to distant myself frm him.I gotta limit myself and not show equal amt of friendliness as b4.I think tt it is onli rite if i make e relationship clear...not so much bcos i'm scared he'll go over...but cos i'll go deeper.He kept in contact wif me.Tt few days he was sick...i dint ask him at all.Until one day, i finally asked him casually how is he feeling.He say "u finally ask me liao".I really dunno wad to say.I dunno whether it's his perosonality or wad...but when i dun reply his msg he'll think tt his suan-ing haf gone too far and tt i'm angry.He'll msg and keep asking y i nvr reply.When he noe tt i injured myself he'll get worried.I once asked him if tt really matters to him.He say"yes.it matters".I got free period he'll accompany me...he's also willing to come to sch early to teach me hw.There was once i picked up my courage and ask him wat extent of frenship are we.He say tt it's up to me and tt he feels v comfortable wif me.Love is really blind.I noe i shudn't like someone wif such personality...but yet i just can't set my eyes off him.I rather he didn't gif me hope in e beginning...y say things like he think tt we can get together someday?I feel so sinful...i actually had thots of em breaking up.I hate myself!How can i save myself frm tis?