Sins

Haiz...feeling so lousy today!Early in e morning late for sch...although it was compensated by a BIG surprise!I saw 1 of my eye candies at e tampines mrt station...he actually live in e same area as me~!ahaha...budden seriously no mood sia...normally yes la but wif all e pimples...argh!This time it's so wide spread tt i myself is disgusted by my face la...hate to look into e mirror...sian!And tt justin actually commented abt it rite in my face...wha thx lo!Tok abt this kinda sensitive topic...really make me wanna dig a hole and hide my face lo.I tell myself "I wan to go home...now...immediately."Budden unlucky things always like to come at 1 goal...we actually haf a foto taking session wif mr neo.I mean i noe it's e last few days of sch and i would also love to take some fotos wif our ct la...budden "tian bu zuo mei"...muz grow so many pimples at this time.I was already feeling so moody...then justin muz come and annoy me sommore.I mean i really hate taking of fotos la...other things i can tolerate...then he dun let me delete so i take his bag to threaten him lo...really din expect his key chain to break so easily...not purposely one...feel so so guilty!I v scared of this kinda thing one...once i see e person look a bit angry then i'll hurry up apologise...kinda paranoid but guess it's my character ba.I see e broken key chain then i noe i chuang huo le...dunno wad to do.Haiya...sometimes really hope i can rewind time and erase certain things.After tt in e canteen,i said another hurting thing to justin...goodness...haiz wat am i doing?I thot abt this on e way home...i promise i'll become a better person to all my frens around me.I muz take care of their feelings at all times and not let my gd frens down again.ok...shall end here.

Our mugging days

I can hardly recall when i stopped blogging...can't possibly remember every interesting thing tt happened...but of course i will nvr forget the countless nights tt me and xiao xi stayed in sch to mug!!!Basically we haf 3 diff timetables...1st:we stay till 7.30 then we go home for dinner...2nd:we stay till 8.30 then we go whitesand foodcourt for dinner...3rd:we stay all e way till 9.30 when e security will come urging us to go home.We onli followed e 3rd timetable for 2 times...cos seriously lo...it's damn draining and everytime we order delivery, i almost haf to empty my wallet la!As for e 2nd timetable...haha i guess we'll haf to slightly modify our dinner venue...cos sth really disgust us in e whitesands foodcourt...no joke lo!Haha!!!Sometimes i was thinking whether issit v bad to eat out so many times in a wk...nvr really spend time wif e family liddat.I do think tt studying in sch is effective but after so many consecutive days of mugging, i got so tired tt my mind was totally blank.Finally on thurs and fri,we took a break from e "mugging camp".Cool lo~Can haf long afternoon naps tt last for at least 3 hrs...haha!Then i also watched for e 1st time in my life...although e shuai ge Derick is gone, but at least i found out e title of e song (yi shi de mei hao) tt i loved so much.Parts of e lyrics really reflects my feelings sometimes---"you de ren shuo bu qing na li hao,dan jiu shi shui dou ti dai bu liao".Although i try to come up wif eye candies but i just can't forget him.During lect, i'm still so mindful of his presence.Sometimes when i see his friends...i'll also try and see if he's around.xiao bei is rite...there's onli 1 more wk left...after which i wun be able to see him anymore...by tt time...tt's it!everything is over...wo zou wo de lu,ta zou ta de lu.All tt happened in e past felt like a dream but i really wish tt it isn't...i wish tt my feelings could be known.Argh!Sian!Dun wan to think abt this le...shall leave it aside till after As.Rite now i'll haf a clear mind to work for my goal.Yesh!Gambate!

Xin Ru Dao Ge

Relaxing Saturday...phy mock test in the morning was optional...feels really good cos it's not a like the usual taxing tests.Was really glad to see him...and i actually sat directly behind him.I dint forget wat i said la...i noe tt in order to protect myself frm getting hurt again i hafta be firm...so i always remind myself to draw back.Just watched Tian Di Nan Er...the girl was deeply hurt in her previous relationship...so she became v worried when she see tt her present bf is hafing contact wif his ex again.The guy clarified and asked the girl y did she haf so little confidence in him...the girl said tt it's not him...she didn't haf confidence in herself.She was hurt once and she is afraid tt the same thing will happen again.This is very true...i guess when someone is hurt once...it'll really affect her self esteem and when the next relationship comes..she'll tend to be very cautious and sometimes seem to be overly sensitive.In this case getting jealous is normal and i really dun think this is being possessive.For me,i really dunno how low my self esteem shud fall until i find e right person.Feeling very pessimistic about love right now.My papa told me a lot in the evening when my mama was away.Then i notice how much discontentment there can be in a marraige.I dunno since when i had this phobia for divorce...can't imagine how will things be if i haf to live in a single parent family.My papa tell me tt if i were to choose...i hafta be really careful cos choosing a lifetime partner is sth of great significance in life.I can't describe how bad i felt when he told me all those...i was originally eating my dinner but at tt pt i can't even swallow...trying hard to hold back my tears.Why is this world so practical?No room for dreams nor fairy tales.I dun like escapism but sometimes i really wish to get away frm reality so tt at least i can haf a few moments to breath.Right now,i just pray tt all will turn out fine.